I Don't Care

I love not caring about what's happening on Facebook. I used to care SO MUCH! On Facebook, every stupid thing is an issue to be discussed and debated. We have to examine the social ramifications of every minute event that takes place around the world and share our opinions about it with everyone. When did we all starting using up so much of our energy caring about EVERYTHING! We care about everything!
Don't get me wrong - caring about stuff is good and right, but I believe that it is impossible to care about every little thing without your compassion loosing some of its integrity. Do you care about world hunger? Good - what can you do about it? Do you care about social injustice? Fine - find out how you can combat it. Do you think last Saturday's SNL was not that funny and maybe offensive, but you'd like to get the opinions of all your friends and debate the topic with the entirety of the web to confirm your suspicions? Good freakin' grief...there has got to be something more constructive you can be doing. Should the entire world care that Kim Kardashian took another scandalous picture? No. Do we all need to feel the need to tell everyone the results of the "What Kind of Potato" quiz? Holy cow...NO!
The thing is any one of these expressions on their own is not a big deal, but it's become a mass sharing of trivial opinions that has turned into a loud game of "No, listen to what I think! My opinion matters! You should all care about what I think!"

I can't. I can't care about what everyone thinks about everything thing - little or big - that is happening in the world. I've tried, and it's exhausting. It drains the joy right out of me. And what is ironic is so much what what people share regarding current events is generally grounded in compassion - misplaced or not - and yet, after a day spent processing all of those debates and opinions and comments, my heart is heavy with a feeling that this world is a dark and cruel place in which to exist. By constantly sharing all our thoughts about our lives and the world around us, we are essentially killing the world with kindness. In my opinion.

If A Tree Falls

I deactivated my Facebook account two days ago. It's nice in a lot of ways not to have it, but I've become incredibly aware of how intertwined it is in my thoughts and actions since letting it go. I'm not going to say that everyone has allowed social media to be as tangled up in their lives as I have, but I don't think I'm the exception either. In a way it makes me think of the saying, "If a tree falls in the forest and makes no sound, did it really fall?"
I catch myself frequently throughout the day composing status posts in my head based on my current activity or thought process. I consider taking pictures of somewhat mundane things so I can post them with a witty caption. It seems that I can't do or think anything without automatically intending to share it on Facebook.
My observation is this: I have allowed Facebook to validate all my experiences. If I can't think something or do something without needing to share it on Facebook, then I have allowed Facebook to seep into that thought or experience in a way that requires it in order for fulfillment. I have given away the full experience and thought process - robbed myself of my own life by allowing Facebook constant input.
In conclusion: If an experience happens and it's not shared on Facebook, did it really happen?

Yes. Yes, it did.

#SorryNotSorry

For info on movies in the park, click here.

Ok, so I slipped up a bit - twice. But let me explain, and I think you'll feel the same as I do - that it was totally understandable.

First, last Friday night, husband and I went to a movie in the park. Oh my word - so fun! It was the first time we'd ever done something like that, and we had a blast. I highly recommend it. It was at the Lake Harriet bandstand for a screening of Mars Attack. I had never seen Mars Attack (and it turns out I wasn't really missing much), but here's why I don't think it was really cheating that bad in not watching tv:
- I was not sitting on the couch in the house. I was sitting on a lawn chair outside on a beautiful summer night.
- I was not being unsocial. Because it was outside, Josh and I could still easily talk to each other quietly without bother the people around us. Also, there was just a general community feel throughout the park.
- I did something I've never done before. Part of the reason I decided to not watch t.v. was because, due to my introverted inclinations, I can easily talk myself out of going out to try new things and instead stay cozy in my home. This fallback plan generally includes watching t.v.

So, hopefully you have been nodding along with me as I've made my argument for watching a movie. Also, bonus point, it was free. So…I don't see how you could not be on my side here.

Second, since Monday, I have watched ALOT of YouTube videos of Robin Williams - clips of his movies, his standup comedy, tribute videos, etc. The world seems to be reeling from the tragic loss of this man, and I have been right there with everyone else. It's been a lot of screen time, but I don't care. Like most of us, I only knew him through the characters he played, but I've known those characters my whole life. Thank you for sharing your humor and heart with the world, Mr. Williams. Bangarang.

And Then I Was Living in a Bus

10 days sans television, and I'm starting to rethink my life. Great.

So, here's my the story of why I'm probably going to end up living in a bus:

I turned off the television. With time on my hands and a quiet house, I started cleaning and organizing. While cleaning in silence, I thought, "Holy hot pockets, we have a lot of stuff!" Then I remembered a documentary I had watched a couple months ago about tiny houses. I had thought it was pretty interesting at the time and decided to do some internetting on the subject. I surfed, clicked, and scrolled myself into an utter frenzy of anti-materialism. "These people are doing it right," I thought. Before long, my little laptop shown me all the websites I could find on tiny houses and the tiny house movement. But my huge appetite for tiny was not yet satisfied, so naturally, I took to Pinterest. Pinterest was filled with small home plans, ways to live comfortably in small spaces, floor plans, small home designs, etc, etc. Then I came a cross a minimalist blog called, naturally, TheMinimalists. I loved it! I read about 20 posts in one sitting. (They are pretty short, so it didn't take as long as it may seem.) I was thoroughly inspired. So I started purging…this is still in progress, but I was thrilled with my new-found motivation to simplify and get rid of stuff. And then I found the bus. Apparently, there are people who have converted school and commercial busses into homes. Um, I LOVED this! Why not? Live in a bus with only the stuff that you need. No mortgage, no bills, go wherever you want. Clearly, I should have been living in the 1970's. Well, I grabbed my laptop and bound across the house to share this grand idea to the husband. He, alas, did not share my enthusiasm. At. all. 

So, I'll keep working on him, and hopefully, not long from now, we will have sold/donated everything we own and moved into a school bus. I don't see how this could turn out badly.

___________

In all seriousness, the sites that I referenced are extremely interesting, helpful, and great. A tiny house may not work for everyone, but if it does, I think it's awesome. If anything, the concept of living a life unburdened by possessions and, rather, filled with relationships and passions is a worthy pursuit and one that I hope to implement more and more.
And I really am not totally opposed to living in a bus. :)

Highly Disorganized and Clutterly Content

One week without television: I suppose it was inevitable that I would start organizing.

I like to think of my house as delightfully disorganized, "lived-in", comfortably cluttered, etc. Even after I've done what I consider to be a thorough cleaning, I am certain that there are people who would say that more could be done in order for it to be truly clean and tidy. Clutter, in moderation, does not bother me at all. A pile of paper on the table, shoes laying haphazardly by the door, an unfolded blanket on the couch, books laying here and there…not a problem. I rarely clean anything right away - wash each dish as it is used, iron clothes as soon as they come out of the wash, organize the mail as soon as I bring it in from the mailbox - nah. I don't think this makes me a messy person…and if it does, I don't care.

But, I will admit that this relaxed method of housekeeping does eventually catch up with me. For example, what was once a neatly stacked pile of paper becomes a colony of piles of paper, mail, books, scripts, and pictures. There are some specific locations around the house that are particularly susceptible to excessive clutter and mayhem, and today, I decided to tackle one of them: my craft cabinet.

Oh, my craft cabinet…it is a mysterious trove of unused potential. It contains all the knick knacks, tools, supplies, and pretties that I have collected for either a specific project or simply because it was a shiny, new crafty thing. It is stuffed with all sorts of items that could become so many wonderful things if I were to follow through with my sporadic notions of ingenuity. Alas, more often than not the project is abandoned prematurely for one reason or another, and the items purchased with such a hopeful purpose are stuffed into the cabinet with all the other forgotten supplies.

So today I organized it. And it is EXQUISITE. I mean…sigh…it just really is. And I found so many things! I found a baby present purchased for my nephew Judah…who is now 4 years old. I found a birthday card I bought for my dad…two birthdays ago - sorry, Dad - and so many craft supplies that I had forgotten were there at all.

I also found a bunch of stuff to make friendship bracelets and have every intention to whip a few together! I promise - promise - that I won't toss them back in the cabinet.

Whining on a Wednesday

Reading books an English major should have already read at this point in life. #oops

Ok, so today has been a challenge. "It's a challenge. IT'S a challenge." Ha…JRB. Anyway...

I really, really, really want to watch tv. I obviously have a problem.
I have been SO productive today, and I think I deserve to watch tv. Addict.
I'd only watch one show. How's that? You could stop anytime? Have you met yourself?

Well, I was gonna write a post, but clearly I'm only capable of whining. So…

I JUST WANT TO WATCH TV!!!!!!

Sigh.

Anyone care to have me list everything I've done today? No? Hmmm.
-cleaned
-read my book
-made huge progress on a design project
-responded to emails
-did laundry
-ran errands
-updated my Google calendar
-started memorizing lines
-cooked an actual meal for lunch

You're welcome.

Today's post has been brought to you by the old adage "If you can't say anything nice, be sarcastic."

Guess I'll go read my book. Or clean. Ugh...

Procrastination Level: 0

I've now lived through an entire weekend without watching television. I mean...did any of you know that was even possible? I am quite sincerely agog...AGOG.

So here's my problem, though - all this time I've supposedly saved by not watching tv is really cutting into my personal procrastination goals. I love procrastination. I thrive by it. I am never more focused (panicked) and productive (scrambling) than when I've waited until the very last minute to get something done that should have been done days, weeks, or months before. I like to think that my best work is done when my adrenalin is high, my anxiety is soaring, and my fear of failure is real...very, very real.

Now, though, I have time to plan, prepare, and implement everything that I need to do. I have no distractions from projects, housework, fitness, communication, etc. These things will now be done calmly and with enough time to complete them in a satisfactory manner. Sigh. Not my ideal conditions, to say the least. So, basically everything else in my life is gonna go down the crapper - all because I stopped watching tv.
Let this be a lesson to children everywhere.

Will my brain even be able to learn lines if not frazzled by the 30 minute deadline before rehearsal? Will my house be able to fathom why I've spent so long carefully scrubbing all it's nooks and crannies - not skipping anything for lack of time? Will my dog die of over-exertion because of the sudden increase in walks? Will I cease to be adorably disorganized?! These are the worries that now plague my mind at night while I'm laying in bed - at a decent hour in silence because the tv is not on. Again.

#thestruggleisreal