I Can Only Imagine

I love the trail that I run on.  It's a beautiful little trail that runs along Lake Minnetonka for a little ways and is mostly tree-covered.  It's well kept and well used and a lovely place to spend a few of life's miles.  If I were a painter, I'd try to paint a landscape of what I see when I step out my door for a run.  At first it would be a little Norman Rockwell-ish and then it might become rather more like a Bob Ross, with happy little trees and happy little rocks here and there.  But I'm not a painter, so this will have to do.

When I first step out the door, I generally pause to stretch my legs and then I'm off.  I run past the dentist office and barber shop right next door, past the house with the year-round yard sale.  I go by the old, creepy-looking duplex that nearly constantly has a For Rent sign in front of one side of the house and almost as constantly has old furniture with a FREE sign in the yard of the other side.  I go by the BP gas station, where the employees have now come to recognize me when I run past and will keep me accountable when I stop in if they haven't seen me go by in a few days.  I run past the post office and dash through the insane six-way intersection.  Insane for Excelsior, anyway.   This intersection is somewhat like an initiation for anyone entering town who is not from Excelsior.  I know of people who will go out of their way to come into town from the other direction in order to avoid this particular intersection.  It's an all-way stop, and one thing I've learned about Minnesota drivers is that no one knows how to work an all-way stop intersection.  Either no one wants to go or everyone wants to go, and generally everyone gets squinty-eyed trying to read the expression of the other drivers so as not to offend anyone before accelerating - craziness, I tell you.  Thankfully, as I'm not operating a motor vehicle, I can simply dash across the two streets I have to get through as long as there are no cars waiting on those sides.  I run past Maynards and Bayview - two restaurants on the lake.  For my own convenience, I'm going to pull a Hollywood name mash-up and call these two restaurants Mayview for the time being.  Depending on the time of day, getting past Mayview can be far more chaotic than getting through the six-way intersection.  Both restaurants have limited parking and most of the parking they do have is valet.  In the morning, it's no problem at all.  If I run after work or in the evening, though, I feel like the frog in the game Frogger.  Run, stop, wait for a car, run a couple more steps, stop, the driver waives me by, run, stop, wait for the valet to move the car, run, stop, give someone directions, then run the last few steps to freedom!  Geesh.  But it was all worth it because I've finally reached the trail, my quiet place.  I turn off the side walk and onto the trail, and it's like I've entered another world - a much more peaceful and quiet world.  Everything I see as I run down the trail are like pictures you might see hanging in a doctor's office.  I run past the marina.  I run over the foot bridge, and I can hear the sound of my hollow footsteps echoing below me.  The view of the bay from the bridge is fantastic, no matter what time of year.  Right now, the bay is full of sail boats and motor boats and yachts.  It's quite a sight, and somewhere in the midst of all those big, shiny boats is a little, tiny fishing boat that belongs to the Nix's.  Like a shack in the middle of a neighborhood of mansions, but it's a good little shack...um, boat, so who cares.
There are three points on the trail that I would say are my favorites.  The first is a set of trees that grow on either side of the path.  They aren't really huge trees.  They grow right across from each other and sort of bend toward one another, as though they are leaning.  Maybe I'll name them Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman.  The frame that these two trees create as I approach them is subtle but amazing.  I feel like I'm entering the pages of a book as I run past them.  Also, they always make me think of Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken, and I don't necessarily know why because it is a single path.  There isn't a fork in the road anywhere along the trail...maybe there should be.  Anyway, I go past Sandra and Bill, past the Old Log Theatre, and around the very tree-covered curve that is dark even in daylight.  Then I get to a point where I once saw a rabbit and turtle on the trail at the same time within about 10 feet of one another.  I'm sure you recognize the significance of this as I did - Aesop's The Tortoise and the Hare!  Turns out they are not fabled but live on the trail in Excelsior, Minnesota.  And if you ask me, it looked like the tortoise was in the lead.
I run past several large houses on the lake and then I get to my absolutely favorite part of the trail.  I run for a ways under trees and behind houses, but then the trees break and the trail comes out running right along the lake for about 200 yards.  I love those 200 yards.  The view of the lake is unbelievable.  I'm well beyond the bay at this point so aside from an occasional fishing boat, it's just me looking out over water and sky.  It's breathtaking.  When I used to listen to my ipod while running, I'd try to time a particular song in my playlist to this point on the trail - I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me:


   Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
   Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
   Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
   Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
   I can only imagine


Once I've passed this point on the trail, I've just about reached the four mile turn around.  I pass by everything again, heading home.  
There are many reasons to run, but it has to be something more than fitness to keep a person stepping out each day to run for years and years and a lifetime.  There is solitude, stillness, clarity of thought, rejuvenation, and worship woven into those miles and breathes.  The rhythm of footfalls and breathing re-aligns thoughts and makes sense of things that make no sense in the rush of day-to-day activities. 

 In this life, we will never know what it was like to be in the Garden of Eden, but if anything could be like those walks with God in the cool of the day, I think it would be going for a run. 

Nothing Naturally

I am not really what I would consider an athlete.  I do like running, and sometimes, I can even be sort of good at it, but, in general, I am not naturally athletically bent.  If one were to ponder the similarities between sports and theatre, it could be reasonably concluded that improvisation is the most "athletic" of theatrical forms.  Also, improv is a bit terrifying to me, so that also leads me to believe that it must have some kind of parallel to sports.  How are they similar?  Both require immediate reaction as opposed to thoughtful response or rehearsed presentation.  When I played basketball in highschool...ah, the memories...one thing I hated about it was that we had these plays that we practiced but, really, in a game the ball was flying from person to person and the players were jumping and weaving and faking to the right and left so fast that my little brain had no idea what was going on!  Can we just slow down and calmly consider what the next move should be?!  That, apparently, is just not how sports work - unless you're a long-distance runner.  Bless the dear person who first thought that running from one point to another without having to do anything with a ball was sufficient to be called "sport". 

I'm a muller - I like to consider, ponder, chew on a topic before diving in or speaking up.  I love the lead up to a performance - the rehearsal, research, character breakdown, backstory, etc.  I tend to do quite a bit of rehearsing on my own outside of rehearsal - I rehearse to rehearse to perform.  So, "get up on stage and make it up as you go" is a wholly baffling concept to me.  Why?!  Why would I want to subject myself to sure discomfort and utter vulnerability?!  When I was in high school basketball, I managed to get into the HDUB Club - Humiliating Display of Unathletic Behavior - by almost making a basket for the other team.  I didn't quite achieve elite membership as I didn't actually make the basket for the other team - the referee blew the whistle and burst my bubble of delusion before that could happen, but membership in the HDUB Club on any level is rather exclusive.  But my point is - because I do have one - is that moment, when I got the ball and went driving down the court towards the wrong basket, I was reacting - not thinking, not pondering, not mulling - and look what happened.  

Despite my fear of improv, though, I do really love it.  Whatever kind of nuts that makes me, I don't know.  It's in the moment and honest and, if you can forget that you're an adult for two seconds, it's really fun!  I had to read a book in college for one of my acting classes called Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki.  To be honest, I didn't know what my professor was thinking when he assigned this book - or maybe I didn't know what I was thinking when I tried to write a paper on it  - but it actually speaks to improv really well!  Here's a passage that I had underlined: 

"You should not have your own idea when you listen to someone.  Forget what you have in your mind and just listen to what he says.  To have nothing in your mind is naturalness."  

My first response is to say something childish about naturally having nothing in your mind - heehee - but, really, that's one thing I think is so great about improv...AND running.  Whoa!  Way to circle back!  Improv gives you the opportunity to have nothing else in your mind, listen to your scene partner, and simply respond naturally.  There's a little more to it than that, but from my very limited experience, that is a significant part of it.  Running also provides a respite from all the to-do's going on in your day.  I often feel like I'm thinking of 50 things at one time and trying to get them all right, but to be able to think of only one thing...it's, it's inconceivable!  It's an opportunity not to be missed.  And isn't it odd that something that makes me so uncomfortable also makes me so happy.  

I will continue to hone my game when it comes to improv...I look forward to it...basketball, I'm quite certain, will always be the hidden talent that never was and nevermore will be.

It's a Mystery: Sunglasses

I'm not running today...rest day! I'm always a little concerned about rest days because I feel like I'm going to loose my mojo that I built up with all the previous consecutive days of running. I signed up for a 10-Mile race in September, so that is my goal at the moment. I have an ultimate goal of running a marathon before I turn 30...which is about two and half years from now (gulp). I think that gives me adequate time to accomplish such a mission.

This week has been pretty warm, and I do NOT like running in hot weather. I haven't really had a choice, though. The late afternoon has been the only time I've had available to run. The advantage, though, of running in warmer weather is that very few people are out on the trail, so I get it mostly to myself. I find that meeting/passing other people on the trail is a very awkward experience for the most part. A small handful of people will smile and wave as you pass by one another. Most people, though, will look at you in an unaffected manner upon approach but completely avoid eye contact right as you pass by them. I realize that when you're exercising that you might be in "the zone" and social niceties sort of go out the window to a certain extent, but I am just not down with the cold shoulder approach. I mean, I know they see me...I'm just saying. For a long time, I tried to give a small smile and wave to anyone I met on the trail. We were fellow runners - venturing forth upon this lovely little trail along the lake to partake in an activity so enduring and primal. I felt like we were all united by our running somehow, but day after day, month after month, I got the I-see-you-but-I-refuse-to-acknowledge-you treatment. So, this summer, I have put on the shield of invisibility in order to avoid these awkward moments: sunglasses. Sunglasses are truly amazing. By merely placing them on the bridge of your nose, you are draped in a mysterious persona should you meet anyone who didn't already know you. Without them I felt totally exposed while running - everyone knew if I was going to attempt a greeting because I was making eye contact, and the shutdown from the oncoming runner was all the more harsh. With sunglasses, I flit along the trail as though I was not even there. I do not feel obliged to acknowledge anyone and no one feels like they have to acknowledge me. They don't know if I'm looking at them, or if I'm so deep in "the zone" that I can't possibly notice other human life swirling around me. I admit, I feel rather like I've given up on this bond that I still believe that all runners have, but maybe it's just not the right time. Perhaps when the economy is better...or not. But for now, I have my shield of invisibility, and I will traverse the trail as a only a faceless runner.

The One-Eyed Man

I got a new pair of running shoes last weekend: Vibram 5-Fingers. I'm not going to lie; I've gotten a bit into the minimalist running trend. I read Born to Run a while ago - REALLY good book! - and I'm giving the barefoot running fad a legitimate go...

First of all, these shoes are not sexy or attractive in any way, in my opinion. They make my feet look like flippers, and I've gotten some interesting looks from other people on the trail. So, while they do nothing to enhance my natural feet beauty (ha), they are actually pretty good so far. I have run with them three times now. They do require using muscles in my feet and lower leg that I haven't used before, so I've had some soreness that I'm not used to. This spring and summer, though, my right knee has been hurting when I run and I've been going to the chiro-cruncher every week or so. With the Vibrams, so far, I've had no knee pain! Sweet chicken!

A funny thing happened on the way to the trail today (what was that? A theatre pun? Nooooo!) I was just getting into my run today; I hadn't even made it to the trail which is about a quarter mile from my door. As I was pidder-padding down the sidewalk, a man headed in the opposite direction stopped me to ask for directions. I was happy to help out, so I stopped. This guy was interesting, but I can only share part of how interesting he must be because he had a super-thick European accent. I had a really hard time understanding him, but I did discover that he was trying to get to the Wells Fargo. I gave him directions, but then he through me for a loop by asking me to walk him there! Um, various thoughts quickly zipped through my head:

This is a strange man - It's is the middle of the day and there are lots of people around.

I'm in the middle of a run - It's not as though I'm training for the Olympics; I can be flexible.

HE MIGHT STAB ME!! Yeah...probably not.

It's a bit rude of him to expect me to walk him around town, isn't it? Not really, and I would feel like a jerk if I said "no".

So, as all that ran through my head in about two seconds time, I said, "Sure!" And we headed back up the street together. I learned that his name was Eric (I think), he's from St. Louis Park, he had been walking since he got off the bus in Minnetonka (that's about 5 miles away!), and he just decided that he wanted to come to Excelsior today. I don't know why he needed to go to the Wells Fargo, but it wasn't any of my business. Wait! Oh - that IS my business...banking, that is. Hey-o! I also noticed that he only had one eye... So, the man with one eye and the woman with flipper feet walked down the street together - not really understanding each other, but having one destination in mind. It only took about ten minutes. Once we reached Water Street, he decided he could find the bank from there, and we parted ways. He thanked me; I bid him a good day, and turned to trot back up the street for the third time.

I don't really have a "moral of the story" or anything like that. It was just an interesting few minutes. I like that people can pass through life for a moment like that. It's easy for me to become so enveloped in my own little world that I forget sometimes that there are other people passing by. I'm glad that I decided to walk with him for a couple minutes...I hope he found the bank ok.

Numero Uno

Ok...I've tried to start blogs before, but I end up spending so much time trying to think of a clever name for it that I never think of what the point of it is. So, finally, I realized that I have an underlying purpose for writing a blog - running and theatre - and have decided to go with that and not worry about the cutesy title, thus the title of this blog is Running & Theatre. Pretty to-the-point, I'd say.

As this is the first post, I feel like I should explain why I'm even blogging at all. And why I'm blogging about running and theatre. I aspire to write...and that's pretty much all I have as to why I'm blogging at all. I'm sorry - I thought I had more to say on that point. Apparently not. I've tried to start novels from time to time, but I, again, get so caught up with the stylization of the writing that the story just goes to pot. This is an experiment all around - in blogging and in just plain writing - come what may. Additionally, the two passions in my life, I guess you could say, are running and theatre. Some hobbies come and go, but I feel like I can truly say that, barring any permanent injuries or catastrophic events, these two activities I will carry with me to the end of my days. I'm not always good at them, and sometimes I really stink. But I love them both - they satisfy parts of me that no other hobby, talent, or skill - or even some people - can.

I've been running since I was 17 yrs. old...ten years now. I started running the summer before my senior year of high school, having signed up for the cross country team for the following fall. I was a late-comer to cross-country, but I LOVED it! Unlike other sports I'd tried - basketball, volleyball, softball - I was not horrible at it. My one season of cross-country was rather defining for me. I played basketball the first three years of high school, but if you asked me if I played sports in school, I'd tell you that I was a runner. It was a great season - great teammates, great coach, fantastic pastime to carry with me into college and life beyond. Running is so many things: great exercise, a wonderful escape, but also an awesome way to connect with other people. It is my go-to life analogy: life is like a race - there is a beginning, an end, and lot of highs and lows in between. I could get more detailed with that, but I'll save that for future posts. I just love running.

Theatre, then, is another life-analogy for me. I love theatre - love it. I would go so far as to say that I need theatre. I long for it. It is so innate to humans to express themselves through story. It is so fantastic to be drawn into a new reality and feel what someone else feels - whether that person is real or fictional. Theatre has given me so much: great friends, compassion for others, and a way to express myself. I can be a really shy person much of the time. I often find that I don't know what to say to people and, consequently, end up feeling very awkward. Acting allows me to embody characters completely unlike myself. A script gives me words to say that I could never think of on my own. I "meet" characters and come to know them in a way that I would never take the time to do otherwise. Of course, characters in a play are often fictional, but I always maintain that while a script may be fictional, a real person wrote that script and those characters came from somewhere that was very true and human. So, while the character may not be real, the character type very likely is real. I count it a gift to get to know that character, that person - understand them better - and take that knowledge with me after a show ends. It has given me far more compassion for people who are different than myself, which is a lot of people, right!? Because pretty much everyone is unique in some way or another. So, theatre...sigh...I love it.

All that said, in this blog, I want to just hash out my thoughts about running and theatre. Document training, upcoming races and shows, break-down characters, gripe about injuries, celebrate new PRs and great performances, lament over horrid auditions and having to run on a treadmill in the winter.

I'm a runner and an actor...and I like to talk about it.